Andy Richter
actor/writer from Midwestern U.S., married to Sarah Thyre, father of two
Comedian
http://twitter.com/Andy_Richter
http://teamcoco.com
221527 followers
2610 tweets
Andy_Richter
My daughter was enjoying a bottled juice drink today when Jackie Chan jumped out of a tree & kicked her in the neck! It was upsetting!
Andy_Richter
RT "@DustyWWE : Like #Willie Nelson" // #TweetthePress
Andy_Richter
Eww, that's what dubstep is? From the name I thought it would be fun.
Andy_Richter
Oh, and I'm an advocate, too. But I am NOT an organizer! Booooooring!
Andy_Richter
Wait, so you can just call yourself an activist? Okay, I'm an activist.
Andy_Richter
RT“@merylstreep : Now this is what I call acting! RT @hannibalburess http://t.co/pvhXR9N5 - Ric Flair flopping”
Andy_Richter
Warning! Political link, so no whining if you click! http://t.co/ZKyUf9Qb
Andy_Richter
Courtesy of my wife @sarahthyre , a depiction of an epic Japanese fart battle: http://t.co/MzMIKx9O
Andy_Richter
RT @LouisPeitzman : There's no room service here, but I bet I could pay somebody to scramble an egg into my mouth. // reporting u 4 obscenity
Andy_Richter
RT "@TScpScorpio : Daily Scorpio: A Cancerian boy wants to tell you he loves you but is feeling rather shy!" Um, OK. How "cancerian" is he?
Andy_Richter
Happy Mardi Gras!
Andy_Richter
Hey, guy! Your "Only God Can Judge Me" t-shirt makes you look fat!
Andy_Richter
Its Carnival Time! So why aren't you listening to New Orleans' best, http://t.co/uugEnZfh ? Today and every day!
Andy_Richter
We lost. #wgaawards http://t.co/vVrar5PU
Andy_Richter
“@EduardoRengifo : @Andy_Richter WHY TAKE DRUGS STREET CHILDREN?
IF YOU THINK YOU THAT WE CARE A CUCUMBER?”// So true.
Andy_Richter
Anyone know how I can turn off @michaelianblack 's RTs from my iPhone? I keep forgetting to do it from my computer. #wegetituhaveabook
Andy_Richter
“@TheRealRoseanne : ONE DAY LEFT TO GET ME ON THE ILLINOIS BALLOT-” I guess a mother's passive-aggressiveness never leaves her.
Andy_Richter
"I still feel sticky." - IHOP waitress on deathbed
Andy_Richter
I think it's important to support the President, so I just gave our cleaning lady a shopping bag full of condoms.
Andy_Richter
“@TScpScorpio : Only the best will do for the Scorpio man.” We're out of toilet paper, so I wiped my ass with a coffee filter.
Andy_Richter
If you know this man (he's 28), please tell him what's wrong with this picture: http://t.co/btKlLQkd
Andy_Richter
Everyone at the Grammys is orange.
Andy_Richter
I got some of those Foster Grant reading glasses with the lights on them if anybody needs their crack examined.
Andy_Richter
RT "@HowardStern : If thinking that gay people have a right to happiness is corrupting America then I will continue corrupting them."
Andy_Richter
“@TScpScorpio : Cancer is mesmerised with the intensity of emotions from Scorpio." My wife is a Cancer. This is bullshit.
