Andy Richter
actor/writer from Midwestern U.S., married to Sarah Thyre, father of two
Comedian
http://twitter.com/Andy_Richter
http://teamcoco.com
259651 followers
3638 tweets
Andy_Richter
Our new puppy is really good at getting her tongue all the way up your nostril.
Andy_Richter
iPod shuffle reminded me of this great song today. It's not nearly the bummer that it should be. http://t.co/tTFZQxT4
Andy_Richter
"Look, old man, I told you, I don't know what song you're talkin' about! And stop fuckin' your drink!" -from my new play "The Piano Man"
Andy_Richter
I don't mean to put down your Sunday, but at the Korean spa today I got to see a man pop off his wooden leg & scrub his stump.
Andy_Richter
Just heard Dustin Lance Black adoringly explaining When Harry Met Sally on NPR and I don't feel human any more
Andy_Richter
#FF RT @IamEnidColeslaw : HEY FUNNY THING WHEN I'M DRUNK I DON'T HATE PEOPLE ANYMORE
Andy_Richter
#FF RT @bazecraze : Lactose intolerance is born out of lactose ignorance.
Andy_Richter
Big #FF RT @trumpetcake : Hired a courtroom sketch artist to draw me cradling a watermelon, brushing (cont) http://t.co/GLtMm5ku
Andy_Richter
We've had a good run, white people, so let's be classy about this: http://t.co/xj66MKia via @USATODAY
Andy_Richter
BREAKING NEWS: People Now Getting High Everywhere
Andy_Richter
Sorry, folks. I have been informed that @GarofaloTweets is not her. Why people be bein' people they ain't?
Andy_Richter
Are the Tapout guys the LMFAO guys?
Andy_Richter
Hey, guys who wear Affliction-type t-shirts junked-up with graphics and awful slogans: Please wear blank t-shirts. Thank you.
Andy_Richter
Oh, shit. I mean "Warrior".
Andy_Richter
Watching the movie "The Fighter", and have decided that if my spouse enters an MMA tourney, I'm going to support her all the way.
Andy_Richter
I opened a new breakfast restaurant called "Sex Pile". People are pissed at first, but they calm down once they taste the pancakes.
Andy_Richter
PEOPLE OF EARTH - How are you? I will be on the Howard Stern show tomorrow AM, 7ish, I think. @SternShow @howardstern #gonnashowsometitty
Andy_Richter
I want a name for my business that says "I'm kind of a passive-aggressive dick". http://t.co/uJ6I7K4T
Andy_Richter
RT @therealmix : Now what did you think I'd do with thus pic? Lmao!! http://t.co/hW0N7G3q / this is problematic in so many ways
Andy_Richter
Played a trick on my daughter & now she's mad at me. Wanna make it up to her - anybody know where I can get a Hello Kitty glass eye?
Andy_Richter
RT @Dolly_Parton "If you see someone without a smile, give 'em yours! :)" // Great advice! So much easier than carving them a permanent one!
Andy_Richter
EXCITING NEWS! Fake crab has a new name! http://t.co/AX33eAui
Andy_Richter
What??? RT @WaffleHouse : You never had it so good.... until you've had Waffle House #itsthetruth #noonecanhearyourcriesforhelp #ohyeah
Andy_Richter
What??? RT @WaffleHouse : You never had it so good.... until you've had Waffle House #itsthetruth #nonecanhearyourcriesforhelp #ohyeah
Andy_Richter
RT @WaffleHouse : RT @aleemoney : I think I'm just going to marry the @WaffleHouse // Thanks for the slippery slope, Obama!
