Joan Rivers
A simple girl with a dream...
Comedian
http://twitter.com/Joan_Rivers
http://www.joan.co
1070958 followers
4285 tweets
Joan_Rivers
Yesterday 60,000 ultra-Orthodox Jews gathered in a NYC stadium to denounce the evils of the Internet. For more details go to their website.
Joan_Rivers
Met this beautiful-very tall-model from Israel. She calls herself "Jew-raffe"...as in giraffe! Her joke, not mine! http://t.co/bcDNjL1v
Joan_Rivers
In NYC celebrating my good friend Margie's birthday. I hired a gorilla to bring her a cake and sing happy birthday! http://t.co/1pBUjOhJ
Joan_Rivers
Another hot day in NY, which means tank tops are out! All that hair sticking out from chests, backs and armpits! They look bad on men too.
Joan_Rivers
Had so much fun performing last night with Brad Garrett! Guess which one of us is wearing high heels. http://t.co/6OTr0A2y
Joan_Rivers
Virgin Atlantic will allow the use of cell phones on flights. Now the flight attendant can call me to say, "Get your own coffee!"
Joan_Rivers
Don't miss our special guest, Jennie Garth, on tonight's Fashion Police, tonight at 10pm on E! http://t.co/2hELQfGc
Joan_Rivers
To honor the life of Donna Summer, I'm asking all the nightclubs in America to hang their disco balls at half mast tonight.
Joan_Rivers
On my way to perform at the Hard Rock in Hollywood, FL tonight. I'm leaving Max behind to finish up the gardening! http://t.co/pEPSNzNM
Joan_Rivers
Tom Cruise gave a candid interview in the June issue of Playboy magazine, which I assume he truly DOES read only for the articles.
Joan_Rivers
So excited! Look who stopped by my apartment for a visit! @GeorgeKotsi is in NYC for a very special closet visit! http://t.co/PPAC0Aqu
Joan_Rivers
Does this break the rules that accessories MAKE the dress? http://t.co/QLWrwP7z
Joan_Rivers
Congratulations to everyone at the @CLIOAwards this evening. What a wonderful night at the Museum of Natural History in NYC! Thank you all!
Joan_Rivers
Off to the @clioawards tonight. Pick the real from the fakes. Oh what to wear, what to wear.... http://t.co/nF47KYim
Joan_Rivers
OK @CLIOAwards nominees. I'm backstage with all of your awards! Better get here fast! http://t.co/KzKDPuv8
Joan_Rivers
Here I am rehearsing to host tonight's @CLIOAwards at the Museum of Natural History in NYC! http://t.co/lshnJ99t
Joan_Rivers
A dog named Pudsey is "Britain's Got Talent's" newest winner, making him the hairiest star launched by that show since Susan Boyle.
Joan_Rivers
I¹m VOTING for @mariamenounos and @derekhough on DWTS tonight! Let's help them win! 1-800-868-3401 http://t.co/0198LsFa
Joan_Rivers
Cops in Fort Lee, NJ are ticketing pedestrians who text while walking. Wouldn't it be easier to send the summons via text message?
Joan_Rivers
Tonight’s the night! Tune in at 10:30pm to watch my @e_THS with @MelRivers . The perfect way to enjoy Mother’s Day! http://t.co/3piz6vdV
Joan_Rivers
Thank you ALL for the wonderful Mothers Day tweets. I appreciate every single one and am honored to have such amazing followers. No joke...
Joan_Rivers
Mother's Day advice: Don’t shake them when they’re young. They’ll make you pay when you’re old!
Joan_Rivers
Mother’s Day Advice: Sometimes you’re their best friend, sometimes you’re their enemy, but you’ll always be their bank.
Joan_Rivers
My E! True Hollywood Story @e_THS with @MelRivers airs tomorrow night at 10:30pm ET. Tune in for lots of laughs...and a few tears!
Joan_Rivers
Who saw the necklace I wore last night on @e_FashionPolice ? I'm selling it and much more TODAY from 2-4pm ET on @QVC . http://t.co/7fGFFaFK
