Sarah Silverman
I am a monkey
Comedian
http://twitter.com/SarahKSilverman
http://twitter.com/SarahKSilverman
875778 followers
835 tweets
SarahKSilverman
GO SEE MY TV DAD TONIGHT! RT @cococohen The Mark Cohen Band at Molly Malone's 575 S. Fairfax Ave. LA 8 PM
SarahKSilverman
My favorite planets are Mercury, Saturn and Mazda.
SarahKSilverman
Feeling like I'm about to happen upon a body.
#cantwaitforL&OLA
SarahKSilverman
Holy FUCK- Eva Longoria loves shoes!
#redcarpetrevelations #Emmys #livetweeting
SarahKSilverman
Christina Hendricks' tits are nuts.
#bignaturals #breastsnballz
SarahKSilverman
Goodnight world, goodnight Mr. Sulkin, goodnight Grover's Corners
SarahKSilverman
I just saw the future and it's terrible
SarahKSilverman
HOW CAN MY VOICE BE SO NASAL WHEN MY NOSTRILS ARE SO BIG??
#mybodyisbeingridiculous
SarahKSilverman
Hi fellas! Just so u know, hair gel, fake tans& gym-muscles are a turnoff to women of substance. xo
SarahKSilverman
Hey homeless people, if you want help so badly then cute yourselves up like cutie homeless doggies.
SarahKSilverman
Benefit at LARGO tues the 31st w/ me, @DavidSpade @adamcarolla @ToddGlass get your tickets nowish!
SarahKSilverman
Get ready for BACKWASH, Doris!
http://tinyurl.com/3xr62xk
SarahKSilverman
The chemistry of my hands has changed-for the past week I cannot get a lather going.
#Amiasuperhero
SarahKSilverman
You don't know them til they take off their gloves.
SarahKSilverman
It's crazy that every culture has music. It's like, WHY?
SarahKSilverman
Going to the @machete premiere in old, unseemly, sensible shoes. http://moby.to/33kyr6
SarahKSilverman
When toddlers burst into tears I pretend it's either over Pakistan or trapped Chilean miners
SarahKSilverman
When I see other LOST fans, I feel like we're silently telling each other, "We have to go back."
SarahKSilverman
I joke about 9/11 & the holocaust because I can't stop thinking about 9/11 &the holocaust.
SarahKSilverman
TV and movies are better than ever but do I miss real teeth.
SarahKSilverman
SARAH &FRIENDS AT LARGO TONIGHT AT 8:30 bring all your poop and pee!!
SarahKSilverman
"Tampax: Jam it in ya."
#newapproach
SarahKSilverman
Kids today can't even breathe out their noses. Cuz of fucked up shit.
#air #devolution
SarahKSilverman
I've been poking holes in my birth control pills.
