Sarah Silverman
We're all just molecules, Cutie.
Comedian
http://twitter.com/SarahKSilverman
http://www.youtube.com/user/SarahSilvermanVideos
2584494 followers
1998 tweets
SarahKSilverman
My ears can take wailing babies on planes, its my heart that can't
SarahKSilverman
I still wake up so jazzed that childhood is over
SarahKSilverman
Should I worry if my Indian food smells like cum? Need a quick answer.
SarahKSilverman
One thing that's really fun to make when you're really fucked up is big decisions
SarahKSilverman
"The Bachelor" is brought to you by, helicopters!
SarahKSilverman
My dog's breath smells EXACTLY like a dumpster's vagina
SarahKSilverman
My last tweet came to me in a dream.
SarahKSilverman
FUN TIP! Before a big date, make sure you have lots of tiny pieces of toilet paper in your vagina!
SarahKSilverman
We're all alone in our heads.
Goodnight, Sweetie
SarahKSilverman
Why didnt they make throat armor in the Game of Thrones days? There's a blacksmith out there that should be fired.
SarahKSilverman
The whole left side of my body hurts from my neck to my lower back & thru my knee if anyone's wondering
SarahKSilverman
Self-deprecating & self-defecating are the same thing, really.
SarahKSilverman
.@kyledunnigan notices that Duck spends the most amount of time making the worst bed http://t.co/xXxFiJkH
SarahKSilverman
.@kyledunnigan notes that Duck spends lot of time making a shitty bed
http://t.co/eZk4ovoQ
SarahKSilverman
Behind every great big bully there's a great big bully
SarahKSilverman
Poopypants @NewtGingrich thinks our Palestinian brothers & sisters are made up like Godzilla & Santa Claus
SarahKSilverman
I can't tell if @Newtgingrich has some heavy low-hangers or really tight bald roundies.
SarahKSilverman
Just googled "Santorum" and this came up: http://t.co/kz3ZWpQP
SarahKSilverman
CATHOLICS FOR THE DOWNSIZING OF THE VATICAN TO FEED THE WORLD (Pssst -- someone start this)
SarahKSilverman
Jesus would be bummed about the Vatican being all filled w riches that could feed the world (but doesn't)
SarahKSilverman
"Vagisil Wash" is regular soap marketed to really really insecure women
SarahKSilverman
I am blown away by today's WTF w @ToddGlass 's life changing interview. Check it out & be changed. http://t.co/tds0xlSM
SarahKSilverman
Ends 2nite! Donate $25 & win a chance to have me do your outgoing vm message #HELPHAITIHOME
http://t.co/t2nJq9tM
