Sarah Silverman
I am a monkey
Comedian
http://twitter.com/SarahKSilverman
http://twitter.com/SarahKSilverman
510549 followers
496 tweets
SarahKSilverman
JUST A SUGGESTION: BOYCOTT MARRIAGE UNTIL IT'S LEGAL 4 EVERYONE.IF U MARRY IN THIS CLIMATE U ARE AGAINST EQUAL RIGHTS.
SarahKSilverman
TSSP merch is now available, should that be your cup of tea: www.zazzle.com/sarahsilverman*
SarahKSilverman
RT @DanaJGould Palin said she wrote on her hand b/c God wrote on His hand. What he wrote: "Note to self. No REAL wolfmans. Too scary!"
SarahKSilverman
This is hilarious http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MyGJXLxtVEo
SarahKSilverman
I'm gonna freeze my eggs & have a surrogate have my baby & then have a surrogate raise my baby.
#whitepeople
SarahKSilverman
RT @thesulk If erections were painters, I'd have a huge morning Matisse.
SarahKSilverman
Mexican food is the steroids of The-Most-Stuff-Shooting-Out-of-Your-Ass-In-The-Least-Amount-Of-Time competition.
SarahKSilverman
RT @thesulk Dinner with relatives is like a 3 hour version of being held under water a half-second too long.
SarahKSilverman
oops does this one work?http://www.biddingforgood.com/auction/item/Item.action?id=105180683
SarahKSilverman
just-posted auction item from wall of my apt on the TSSP: http://www.biddingforgood.com/auction/item/Item.action?id=10518068
SarahKSilverman
Spotted a homeless man w/ a coat around his shoulders & full-on James Brown hair. He's the hardest working man in no-business.
SarahKSilverman
holy crap @LauraJSilverman is on FIRE!
SarahKSilverman
The Sarah Silverman Program CD "From our Rears to Your Ears" comes out today. If you like that kind of stuff...
SarahKSilverman
The richest black man in NYC has got to be Duane Reade.
SarahKSilverman
My heart is heavy for the Koenig family.
SarahKSilverman
New Sarah Silverman Program tonight. Guest star Maria Bamford is incredible as is Bradley Whitford and @JoshMalina 's curly pubes
SarahKSilverman
Does Magnum's mustache smell like pussy or does pussy smell like Magnum's moustache?
#80sUpdate4chicken&egg http://twitpic.com/15cphq
SarahKSilverman
Hey, Doodyface! Follow Greg Fitzsimmons at @gregfitzshow and go to FITZDOG.COM !
SarahKSilverman
Saying, "I don't wanna be THAT GUY" exists exclusively as a precursor to being "that guy."
SarahKSilverman
ANDREW KOENIG was last seen in VANCOUVER on Feb 14. If you know his whereabouts, tweet #andrewkoenigmissing
SarahKSilverman
This guy "cracks" me up ha ha hee hoo ha hee ho hoo http://twitpic.com/14g82d
SarahKSilverman
Watching @Holcombewaller in Portland. Steve plays the French horn, or as I'm still agressively sticking with, the freedom horn.
SarahKSilverman
I'm worried about Tiger's balls. They aren't used to having the same semen in there this long.
SarahKSilverman
Clear this up for me: A man's sex noises should or shouldn't sound like a southern belle with the vapors?
SarahKSilverman
Ugh. Just a reminder that THE SARAH SILVERMAN PROGRAM is on tonight. If you don't watch we'll get cancelled& it will be ur fault.
