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Dane Cook

Laughter Enthusiast & Vernacular Pimp
Comedian
http://twitter.com/danecook
http://DaneCook.com

danecook You can't go uphill thinking downhill thoughts.
danecook RT @HeatVisionBlog : new 'Tron Legacy' trailer http://bit.ly/cugAf2 -- Between this & IM2 Im back2geekmode
danecook 2night I found my old Cracked mags & my Fangoria collection 1st 100 issues. Reminiscing about how laid I never got.
danecook http://twitpic.com/17grji - Some1 put this @ the summit of a canyon I run/hike. And the creepy-melting-scaryass-f'ed up award goes 2..
danecook EMAILED QUESTION: Spaceballs or Airplane better 1? Damn that is 1 of the toughest questions ever.
danecook describe your first sexual experience? in 1 word. Dc: present
danecook fav SNL moment? Dc: 1st person 2 do the season finale & then the season opener. Bad ass. Stand up on both. Cast was so great 2 me
danecook favorite chick flick? Dc: Steel Magnolias, Mermaids & Tight Girls or anything w/ @clubalektrablue
danecook weirdest sexual fantasy ever? Dc: involves lite butter, wet tissue, photos of space, a rickshaw, all of my exs, hugs & Ebay.
danecook what's the most you have won gambling?/via @DouglasPrice1 Dc: In 1990 I bet my life I would make it as a performer.
danecook skydiving w/any 3 people (dead or alive) who would b? Dc: I would never skydive w/dead people but they wouldnt need shoots
danecook Largest amount money u lost at casino?/via @aldgurl Dc: Lost 5k on 1 hand blackjack. But I got extra bacon w/my free pity breakfast.
danecook Im minus 7% body fat now, bones replaced w/lightweight scandium alloy! Had 2 get shredded 4 Captain America audition & standup tour.
danecook if u were a UFC fighter what would ur nickname b?/via @MattPhillips22 Dc: Dane "Parley" Cook
danecook do u see you'll retire someday?/via @KidFamous23 Dc: retired in 1990 been living my dream ever since
danecook R u touring Toronto again, anytime soon? I love seeing u live!/via @jessjesslima Dc: no new tour. Working on developing film/new comedy
danecook did you agree with the best picture winner last night?/via @melisssaa10 Dc: Hurt Locker was a powerful film & it deserves it's success.
danecook @danecook will u make an employee of the month 2? /via @Kayleighxo_ Dc: Was there an Employee of the Month 1?
danecook Q&A on Twitter. Email me questions - Direct2Dane@DaneCook .com I will respond here. Make'em good.
danecook Quote of the night. Mo'Nique, "I am a stand-up comedian who won an Oscar!" Incredible & much deserved. Comics everywhere rejoice.
danecook Tonights gonna be a good night. And I dont mean that in a Black Eyed Peas way. I'm just sayin Im looking forward to tonight. Mazal tov!
danecook Im not just a gentle lover Im also a romantic savior. Before I perform CPR I tilt your head back pinch your nose & kiss your eyes.
danecook Friend jst pitched me a karaoke offshoot called cookaoke. Instead of song lyrics ingredients scroll by onscreen. Is murder legal yet?
danecook you cant bullshit a bullshitter but you can prognosticate a prognosticator
danecook A bone thin skinny girl next to me is wearing the biggest sunglasses i've ever seen. Her back must be killing.
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