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Dane Cook

When I tweet, I tweet to kill.
Comedian
http://twitter.com/danecook
http://bit.ly/DCFACE

2819732 followers

3468 tweets

danecook I suffer from social anxiety but only when I'm alone.
by Dane Cook, Comedian
danecook Why is this the most incredible bball shot I've ever made? Because I got it in the basket behind me. I'm that good. http://t.co/pGj1A3F8
by Dane Cook, Comedian
danecook Wow. Maxim Hot 100 of 2012 got it so wrong this year. Swing & a huge miss.
by Dane Cook, Comedian
danecook We all have those long drawn out relationships where we finally discover all the wonderful things we don't want in a person.
by Dane Cook, Comedian
danecook Sometimes I see right through myself.
by Dane Cook, Comedian
danecook I like a strong woman with a broken accent. They no like game, take slow time to know & want ask this to you so for please no lie.
by Dane Cook, Comedian
danecook I want to make love to a beautiful woman on a kayak.
by Dane Cook, Comedian
danecook In times of great sadness, terrible pain & unreasonable hardship try putting your faith in convenience store scratch tickets.
by Dane Cook, Comedian
danecook night dude
by Dane Cook, Comedian
danecook goodnight girl
by Dane Cook, Comedian
danecook I find Chris Brown's music very hit his miss.
by Dane Cook, Comedian
danecook This solar eclipse looks strange to me. Maybe I looked at it too long?? http://t.co/q1gLMlnf
by Dane Cook, Comedian
danecook I'm in a long distain relationship.
by Dane Cook, Comedian
danecook You know you miss a girl when she is half way around the room.
by Dane Cook, Comedian
danecook I'm worth dying for.
by Dane Cook, Comedian
danecook Wanna rent a house in Hawaii next week. Ocean time with cool people. Any suggestions on what island I should crash? #lifeisshort
by Dane Cook, Comedian
danecook Poolside at home watching my @RedSox . Life is grand.
by Dane Cook, Comedian
danecook It's been forever but email me a pic of what you are up 2 tonight 2 Direct2Dane@DaneCook .com - funny/wild/cool pic gets the RT!!! #go
by Dane Cook, Comedian
danecook Wrote a song about this girl I met. I barely know her which is why there are only 7 words in the song but those 7 words seem nice.
by Dane Cook, Comedian
danecook Instead of looking at things negatively try considering them ridiculously negative that way regular negative is bearable.
by Dane Cook, Comedian
danecook Sometimes people come into your life at exactly the wrong time.
by Dane Cook, Comedian
danecook Hugh, this is funny man… “@RealHughJackman : Hey guys, check out my latest "audition"... http://t.co/hhPasslW”
by Dane Cook, Comedian
danecook I can't wait to get my girlfriend pregnant with someone else's baby.
by Dane Cook, Comedian
danecook It's not me. It's you.
by Dane Cook, Comedian
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