Celebrities on Twitter

Jim Gaffigan

Husband to hot wife, father, comedian, actor, writer, sleeper
Comedian
http://twitter.com/jimgaffigan
http://jimgaffigan.com/appearances.shtml

jimgaffigan Thank you Apple for inventing the software to fix the software you invented that broke my phone.
jimgaffigan Dear Poopie Pants' Responders, I'M not the one holding them hostage. Save your pseudo-moral judgments for every late night talk show.
jimgaffigan You'd think there'd be a hostage situation at the Mystery Channel building.
jimgaffigan "Hostage Situation at the Discovery Channel Building." I'm shocked! The Discovery Channel has its' own building?!
jimgaffigan Upcoming shows Wendover(NV), Vegas, Seattle, Boston, Phoenix, NYC, Milwuakee. See dates here http://tinyurl.com/6lnykv
jimgaffigan THANKS! RT @twtceleb Amazon MP3 Downloads #1: Jim Gaffigan: Jim Gaffigan 1,041% Sales Rank in: 24 (was 274 yesterday) http://amzn.to/aE8KMY
jimgaffigan Jet skis are fun but you always look like someone who doesn’t have enough friends to fill a boat.
jimgaffigan "Doing My Time", my first Comedy Central album is only $5 on Amazon for a short time http://tinyurl.com/2uw4crb
jimgaffigan My first Comedy Central Album is on $5 on Amazon for a short time http://tinyurl.com/2uw4crb
jimgaffigan You know what I think is awkward? The spelling of awkward.
jimgaffigan Lou Gehrig didn’t have Lou Gehrig’s disease. What’s next? We find out Hugh Downs doesn’t have Down’s syndrome?
jimgaffigan "Intern" is a fancy word for “if you have rich parents, you can work here for free.”
jimgaffigan I’d do more morning radio if they had it in the afternoon.
jimgaffigan Would you answer a yes or no question that was posed just to prompt you to respond on Twitter?
jimgaffigan I’ve been informed I’m not IN Cape Cod, I’m ON Cape Cod. How about this: I’m IN a house ON Cape Cod freezing my ass OFF. #oncapecold
jimgaffigan I'm in Cape Cod but it feels more like I'm in November.
jimgaffigan Shows this week Cohasset/MA, Hyannis/MA and Hampton Beach/NH (Sold Out). http://tinyurl.com/6lnykv . Pl RT in New England
jimgaffigan http://tweetphoto.com/40995544 I was gonna get the Kool-Aid flavored, but I'm an adult.
jimgaffigan Goat Cheese: "Hey you know that disgusting animal you'd never eat? Check out what we did with some of it's breast milk!"
jimgaffigan Hey TSA employees, just a reminder you are supposed to stop terrorism, not all air travel.
jimgaffigan In five years I’ll probably be thinking, “I can’t believe five years ago I cared what I’d be thinking in five years”.
jimgaffigan http://tweetphoto.com/40348281 @bigalgoodwin is actually trying to convince me bartenders wear name tags with fake names.
jimgaffigan Just drove by a highway sign "Big Beaver Rd. Exit 69". Really Detroit?
jimgaffigan Goodbye Dr Laura. I hardly knew you. Well, I didn't know you...at all. Who are you? Why are you in the news? Why dont you have a last name?
jimgaffigan I don’t like to think of myself overweight. I more gutilicious.